Blessings in the midst of Craziness

So as always, I begin with my blog update with a "sorry it's taken me so long to update you" apology.  I have no excuses.  I'm learning that we make time for what's important.  These days my world is/was focused on being a teacher/counselor/mom to middle school students, a co-director for a community choir called Northwestern Singers (which now is officially over until next season :(  ), teaching private lessons, and staying connected with family and friends.  If we haven't connected in awhile, let's make a skype date or phone date and get it on the calendar!

Anyway, to add to the craziness above, my mom is having heart valve replacement surgery at St. Mary's hospital.  In the midst of all the crazy, I feel a peace that passes all understanding.  I know that I can trust in the Lord, and I see how He is blessing me in the midst of the storm.  Don't get me wrong--I'm hanging on for dear life.  But the point is is that I'm holding on. period. That's all that matters.

Here are some blessings:

1)  My school district allows its teachers to use up to 9 sick days a year for immediate family members.  So, I was able to take the whole week off of school to support my family.  I'm in a hotel room as I type this.  :)

2)  The choir teacher that retired a few years ago is my sub so my students won't lose a week of rehearsals.  For you music educators, you know how HUGE this is.  For you educators, you know how great it is that my sub plans were easy to write.

3)  My mom's sternum will not have to be cut in half for the replacement.  There's a new alternative procedure where they can replace the valve through an incision in the ribs.  Thank God for the advances of medical technology.

4)  The cost for this new procedure has a $100,000 price tag.  OUCH!  However, my mom's medicare and tricare for life will cover the whole thing.  Yep.  My dad's amazing military medical benefits are helping my mother.  I love that he is taking care of my mom even though he's no longer here physically.

5)  YOU!  I've had some great friends and family sending their prayers my way.  Love you all!

Home

I wrestled back and forth.  Should I stay in Beijing or go back to the U.S.  Some days in the midst of this decision, I found myself struggle.  You see home is not the place.  It's heart. It's love.  I have friends and family back in the U.S. that I love and so that's home.  But somewhere in the two years of putting roots down in Beijing, I fell in love with people here too.  So the past two years this has been home.  How do you decide which home is better?  Or I guess not even better but just the right home for the time to come.  Hence my struggle.

Well, the decision has been made.  June 18th I am flying back home....for good.  Well, I guess I shouldn't say "for good" as I've learned nothing is permanent.  So for the time being, I'm moving back.  My mom's health isn't good so I need to be closer to her.  I need to support her and my brother.  So I think the plan will be a) I move back to WI and pray for a job close to my mom's home or b) find a job and help my mom and brother relocate to where I'll be.  I don't know what doors will open but the anticipation of what God will do is VERY exciting.  I wait...  Sometimes not patiently but I wait nonetheless.

I can't describe to you the thoughts that I'm having.  I'm very excited to go back and at the same time, sad about leaving.  I've grown here.  You've grown there.  I've changed and so have you.  Or to use a different analogy, the puzzle is no longer the same.  There's a piece missing.  I'm that piece, but I have no idea what shape I'll need to be in order to fit.  :) So finding my way around this  different home will be difficult and good all at the same time.  Please be patient with me as I re-acclimate to this new puzzle. Ruth said to her mother in law, where you go, I'll go.  Where you stay, I will stay.  Your people will be my people and your God, my God. Ruth was faithful to Naomi, and through this journey, my prayer is that I continue to put my faith, hope, and trust in God.  Where I go, God is there.  No fear can uproot this truth.  No lie can reverse the truth of who I am in Christ.  So, I'm coming home bringing with me all the love, truth, faith, hope, knowledge, perseverance, and material stuff that I have accumulated for the past two years.  Hmmm...  1 piece of luggage under 50 pounds won't be enough to contain it all.

Singing in the Rain

The scene opens with my walking with Sylvia and Scott Antonides (the A team as I lovingly refer to them).  Talking about life and enjoying a nice spring rain walk in Beijing; they with their umbrellas, and I with my homemade rain poncho made from a black garbage bag.  The music swells and then comes to a......SCREECHING HALT!

Ok.  Let me back up a few scenes so you can fully enjoy what occurred to me last night.  First of all, the weather forecast here in Beijing is really unpredictable.  I'm not talking about the usual weather forecast "miss" that we have back in the US but more like utter fails.  The forecast will say rain when it never does.  Or it'll say sunny and blue skies when the pollution that day literally covers both.  So, yesterday the forecast said rain and as usual, I laughed in its face, wore cute summer flats, and went to school on my electric bike without bringing my poncho.

After a busy day at school, I noticed, yes friends, RAIN!  I had no time to spare as I had to head to an English tutoring job so I quickly made a poncho out of a garbage bag.  I made it safely to my tutoring job  which is no small feat.  For some reason when it rains, Beijing people love to drive cuhrazy!  (This is one of the moments in life when one syllable words are necessary for emPHAsis.)

After tutoring class, I decided to still meet my friends Sylvia, Scott, and Matt at a local Malaysian restaurant for dinner.  I struggled because I didn't have proper shoes on for rain, and I hate riding my bike in it.  So I decided to just park my bike at the A team's apt. since we were going there after dinner for a movie.  I hailed down a taxi and then walked through puddles in my flats (not so cute after the rain) and made my way to the restaurant.

After dinner, we made our way back in the rain.  I had my dress pants hiked around my knees so that they wouldn't get too wet and sported my garbage bag poncho.  We bussed it to the A team's place and were strolling back to their place.  We were walking in the bike lane because in Beijing, sometimes that's the easiest place to walk.  We were slowly making our way to the sidewalk when I heard Scott's voice boom in my left ear, "LOOK OUT!!!!!"

Wham!  My right side of my body was hit with an electric bike.  My right shoe flew into the air while my left shoe completely ripped from underneath me.  I honestly have no idea how I stayed on my feet.  After the fear subsided that I had broken any bones, I began to observe this Chinese man.  I then said aloud, "Is he drunk?"  Sure enough... he was.

Scott attempted to help this guy fix his bike but it was wrecked.  (Cue music.  "She's a brick....house"....)  Suddenly, Sylvia says, "Let's go!".

There was commotion that happened behind me.  All of a sudden this Chinese man wanted something from us.  Sylvia just kept telling me to hurry but my left shoe was utterly not a shoe anymore.  It was in shreds.  I lost it "running" away.  It had to be left (no pun intended) behind.  This guy was chasing us and Scott attempted to stop him while we got away.

I had an umbrella in my hand by that point and twice couldn't get through gate doors because of it.  At one point I was stuck in the door, without one shoe, shouting at Sylvia, "Help, how do you shut this umbrella!"  I was so nervous the Chinese man would catch up to us.  He never did.

Needless to say, I SCRUBBED my feet when I got to the A's.  Beijing pavement is disgusting!  And watched a little bit of The Way.  I fell asleep because I crashed from the adrenaline rush that I had just experienced.

After I left the A's apt. (Sylvia was kind to lend me her rain boots), I decided to check out the scene of the crime.  My left shoe was gone (this is dangerously starting to sound like Cinderella) and the drunk man's bike was still parked in the bike lane.

When it rains it pours you a glass of milk that you just can't cry over.

UPDATE:  This morning I checked the weather reports, and it's supposed to rain.  Do you think I learned my lesson?  You can comment about it on my facebook page.  :)

CAUTION

So when I moved to China there were many things that I was expecting. I was expecting that I would not understand one word of Chinese. I knew that I wouldn't be driving. And I certainly knew that I wouldn't be able to read one lick of Chinese. I knew the shopping would be great! I'm quite satisfied by the low prices of almost everything. And even though I complain, I love to get my bartering on. I expected to enjoy the food (which I do), expected to love my job (which I do), and expected to find a community that loves Jesus deeply. Many of my expectations have been met. But life wouldn't be life (especially in China) if you didn't have some curve balls thrown atcha once in awhile. Or at least in China, once a day.

I didn't expect to see split pants on children. Yes, they're pants that have a slit so when a child squats, they can just go to the bathroom. I haven't seen so many adults go to the bathroom in public as I have here. And let's not talk about the amount of puke on the streets. For some reason, I had no clue how bad the pollution was here. I didn't realize that Wal-mart is NOT like Wal-mart in the U.S. And I was shocked by the amount of chair loungers and nappers at IKEA (they actually get under the covers on the beds to sleep). No one warned me about the amount of phlegm I see on a daily basis and the sounds of phlegm removal I hear. Traffic....let's not even get started.

After a year and a half, you might be curious as to why I'm ranting about these things now? Well, on my drive to school (I own an electric scooter), I was about to pass a Chinese man on his pedal bike: he was just too slow. When at the last moment, I saw him turn his head over his left shoulder and blew a snot rocket! Thankfully, I had hesitated passing him. Then, I sped up to pass him again and once again, he blew another snot rocket. This time, I narrowly missed it.

Dear sir,

If you do not want me to pass you, I would rather have you cut me off with your bike than your snot.

Sincerely,

me

Thank you God that you care about me enough to help me avoid getting snotted on.

Cheers to Encouragement

Today was supposed to be the first day of school after Christmas break. However, teachers and administration are taking a stand. If you read my previous post, Dr. Lee (let's just call him "he who must not be named") got his hand stuck in the cookie jar by embezzling money from IAB accounts to his personal accounts. Because he got caught, I have been paid 1 month salary. His plan is to keep us hostage by not paying what is owed until the end of the school year.

We find his unethical behavior (since this past July) unfit to be the legal person for a school so we feel now is the time to take a stand. Unified, we have decided not to return to school until he steps down. There were some parents that wanted to take matters in their own hands and sent us an email that they would send their children anyway (even after being notified that we would not have school). Of course, that put me in a place of major guilt. Not only am I being "blackmailed" by Dr. Lee, but now I felt like I was being taken hostage by the parents. Needless to say, I did NOT go to school today.

You'd think that I would feel super discouraged this morning but I don't. Why?

First off, Matthew 12:18-20 talks about how Jesus has come as THE chosen servant prophesied by Isaiah. He wasn't popular though, far from it. Jesus was able to handle the negativity by never losing sight of who He is. I must not lose sight that I am His child regardless of my situation. He is my hope and my trust. His justice will prevail.

Second, I love music! Who doesn't? Music has the ability to speak to the heart like no other. I love the song "His Eye is on the Sparrow? Of course, the first verse and chorus is what comes to my mind, but the second and third are easily forgotten. This song really encouraged me. Take special notice of the latter verses. :)

Verse 1: Why should I feel discouraged, Why should the shadows come, Why should my heart feel lonely And long for Heav'n and home, When Jesus is my portion? A constant Friend is He: His eye is on the sparrow, And I know He watches over me; His eye is on the sparrow, And I know He watches me. Chorus: I sing because I'm happy, I sing because I'm free, His eye is on the sparrow, And I know He watches me His eye is on the sparrow And I know he watches me. Verse 2: "Let not your heart be troubled," His tender word I hear, And resting on His goodness, I lose my doubts and fears; Though by the path He leadeth But one step I may see: His eye is on the sparrow, And I know He watches me; His eye is on the sparrow, And I know He watches me. Verse 3: Whenever I am tempted, Whenever clouds arise, When songs give place to sighing, When hope within me dies, I draw the closer to Him, From care He sets me free: His eye is on the sparrow, And I know He cares for me; His eye is on the sparrow, And I know He cares for me. and LAST BUT NOT LEAST! (drumroll please) On their trip to Thailand, my co-worker and principal brought me back a frosting and chocolate covered mini-cinnamon roll from Cinnabon! If you've ever lived in a country where the comfort food from home isn't available (i.e. Cinnabon and Chipotle), then you know how big a deal this is! So with all three things my checklist is finished: encouraged *check* smile *check* joy *check* peace *check* hope *check* I hope I've encouraged you also!

What a RollerCoaster Ride!!

Would you volunteer to get on a roller coaster ride if you saw this sign?

"In this godless world you will continue to experience difficulties"--

I purposely wouldn't be up for it at all, but yet I've been on the ride of a life time since July when I found out that the owner of the school Dr. Benhur Lee had fired the headmaster of the school and it's chairman of the board. In fact, there was no guarantee that we would even start school on time. By God's grace we did and for the first couple of months we even got paid for our work. Looks like this roller coaster ride is over! Psych! Now, however, is a completely different story. I haven't been paid a full salary for three months and Dr. Lee is up to his shenanigans.

November 7th, he came into school with 2 of his cronies and pushed around our headmaster Tim. Tim ended up going to the hospital to be checked over and doctors found some concerns with his heart. Later we found out the pushing around was a diversion to steal Tim's school laptop computer. Thankfully, there wasn't any important documents on the computer. Because of the fear of what Dr. Lee might do in the future and the lack of help from the police, our school closed for five days to install security cameras.

We started school again and all was going well. Can I get off the ride now? November 16th was my first day back at school after having nearly a month off. I was super busy preparing my students for the upcoming Christmas program and tree lighting ceremony. I'm super blessed to have such talented students who were working very hard at home and at school. Even in the midst of the busyness and craziness, I was feeling a lot of hope that everything would turn out. Then November 28th happened. Dr. Lee showed up at school and with the security cameras, the office staff saw him coming. They had been told not to let him enter so they didn't. However, Dr. Lee began to smash the front door in to gain access. Every time Dr. Lee enters our school, we go through our lockdown procedure so our students get pretty scared. The next two days we had school, but then administration decided that due to the security and the police not helping us after this incident, that they could not risk the safety of the teachers and students. So we shut our doors from November 30th-December 13th. We didn't have a Christmas concert (tear), but my students were able to perform at the Kunlun Hotel for the tree lighting ceremony.

December 13th we resumed classes and the return was bitter-sweet. Looks like the track is finally going up towards blue sky. I was happy to be back, but because of unpredictable school schedule, 20% of the elementary students are leaving. Parents want to know that their children have school, and I don't blame them. So even though I was happy to be back, I was sad to know that this would be the last time that I saw some of my students. And on top of that, first semester grades were due at the end of the week. Thankfully, I made it through. The teachers also have begun to petition to the Labor Department here in Beijing. This department helps both nationals and foreigners to receive unpaid salaries. We're busily collecting bank statements, employment contracts, passports, visas, foreign expert cards, and housing contracts. Some teachers have already filed, and we're patiently waiting for a response.

This past week, I've also been keeping busy every morning by teaching an English class at an academy. I think about these two Korean students that I have and how they don't even get a break to relax. However, I'm thankful for the job for some spending money and to pay bills. Yesterday, I was able to go to a hot springs northwest of Beijing with 6 of my coworkers (and this resort was the kind where you get to wear swimsuits not birthday ones. :) ) I really enjoyed going into a rose petal pool, cherry blossom pool, a rain pool, medicinal pool, and a jet pool to name a few. My favorite part was that they had these slabs of stone that were heated that you laid on. Then you could get a massage or have your face covered in cold cucumber slices. Of course, I caught a few zzzz's while I was on this slab.....

We really enjoyed our time! For a moment, we forgot that we were on the ride of a lifetime. Until it happened, a huge 30 feet drop as the track made a 90 degree angle to the ground. With this IAB situation, a moment of relaxation can be gone in a quick second. On our way out, we had a lot of text messages from coworkers. Dr. Lee somehow was able to get our frozen bank account open and he withdrew approximately 6.7 million yuan (about 1 million US dollars). Wowzers! So then of course emotions of fear and anger rose up within us. What I've come to love about my co-workers and working at IAB is that, within an hour, we were praying together about this situation. That God would ultimately be glorified and that we would not fear and panic. That we would trust in the promises that He has for us.

The following day, I received this email from Dr. Lee:

Dear Parents and Teachers

Merry Christmas!

First of all we really appreciate your concern and prayer for IAB during past several months. IAB was illegally operated under the leadership of Mr. Paul Chou and Mr. Tim McDonald. The legal board of IAB wants to be involved in the operation of IAB and provide the some legal action for the regular operation. The legal board asks all of you be calm down and work for the good education of students. Your contract will be continuously recognized by the legal board of IAB.

1. The salary of staff will be paid as followings.

Salary of Dec. of 2011 is paid on Dec. 22, 2011.

Salary of Jan. of 2012 will be paid before Jan. 20, 2012.

Salary of Feb. of 2012 will be paid before Feb. 29, 2012.

2. The payment plan of next 4 months (March to Jun of 2012) will be made before March 15, 2012.

3. The unpaid salary (Aug 2011 ~ Nov. 2011) will be clearly paid in June 30, 2012.

Dec. 22, 2011

The Chairman of legal board Dr. Benhur Lee

Could it be that I finally get to disembark? If anything, I've learned that this man CANNOT be trusted.

Then on December 22nd, I read an email that Dr. Benhur Lee has been arrested for criminal activity. Of course, we have not been told what the charges are. In fact, I have no idea if he is even still in jail. This sure is one long, adrenaline-filled, emotional-schizophrenic roller coaster ride.

So I have no idea what this all means. In the meanwhile, this journey has taught me so much. First of all, God has shown me my pride and independence. As you know, I don't like to ask for help and I want to do things on my own. The past months, I haven't been able to do much by myself and I've had to humble myself to ask---there doesn't get to be much of me and there's more of Jesus. I guess that's the point, but it doesn't make it any easier does it? :)

God shows me how much He cares. In the craziness of it all; I still have friends, family, and IAB parents that will take me out for a meal, give me gift cards to buy groceries, offer to pay my loans for me, pray with/over me, encourage me, and hug me. I can't help but cry and get emotional over it all. I feel so overwhelmed by the love and care and blessings that I see.

I did NOT volunteer to get on this ride but because of Christ's work and His promises, I completely trust that this ride isn't going to come crashing down to the ground.

"But take heart! I've conquered the world."

Thank you Jesus that you have, otherwise I'd keep my feet firmly planted on the ground.

It's been a long time! How are you? Where are you? What have you been up to? HOW'S CHINA?

In college I quickly learned that when you met someone you asked 3 questions: What's your name?, Where are you from?, and What's your major? Of course, there were those that you met that you only asked the questions to be kind and have a quick connection with whilst others were to be a bridge to life-long friendships.

This past summer I was able to spend time with a lot of family and friends and rejuvenate relationships and there were friends and a lot of family that I wasn't able to see at all. However, the latter relationships are not necessarily unimportant either. Unfortunately, time here on earth is not multi-dimensional and I only had 4 weeks and 5 days. I hope to see those of you that I did not see some time. :)

Home was great! For those of you who just want the quick lowdown version (ya know the quick connection), here ya be.

• My mom and brother are doing good. They have a great time taking care of Hana and Tony, two chihuahuas. My hope is that someday they'll move closer to the Twin Cities.
• Thanks for those of you that were able to make it to the bbq. I never realized before then how many of my friends have kids. I hope to catch up to where you are but until then, I'm enjoying the single life. :)
• The Holsts were kind enough to let the Swigart family use their cabin for a week. We had a blast swimming in the lake, soaking some sun, having a bonfire, gee-dunking (Swigart word for shopping), being bit by mosquitos and horseflies, laughing, praying, eating, playing games, reading, and connecting. Unfortunately, the CA Swigarts weren't there, but they were never too far from our thoughts. And I may have lied about "being bit by mosquitos and horseflies" being a blast--just wanted to know who's paying attention.
• Some college gals and I experienced new places together. One place was successful so here's a shout out to Dominguez Family Restaurant in South Minneapolis. Go there! Even if it means you can't finish reading this post. The second place was the Pumphouse Creamery and it was underwhelming. Thankfully the company was NOT!
• Rebecca motivated me to write a blog more often because she writes at least 3 entries a month and she's married with two children so now I don't get to use the "I don't have time" excuse. ARGH! ;) And Nicole motivated me by telling me she actually checks to see if I've posted something.
• I got to watch the Cavaliers perform "Xtraordinary" twice with one of the best people I know ever!
• Driving is wonderful!
• I didn't expect to see Jaci and Ava this summer. What a treat!
• I ran a 5k and accomplished my goal of 15 minute miles. I actually ran it with 13 minute miles. For those of you that dislike the metric system, a 5k is 3.1 miles. At the same time, I got to run with family and my friend Courtenay.
• I got to watch Teen Mom with two of my favorite girl--Melissa and Emily. Thanks for a great "birth control" evening.
• I got to hang out in St. Paul with Janel and T.J. We all have never spent time together on U.S. soil. It was a great day with them.
• Shannon took me to see her new townhouse. Congratulations girl! I'm so proud of you.
• I unexpectedly got to see two old friends from college: Elizabeth and Emily.
• Laurie and Roger are the best "parents" a gal can have. Thanks for loving on me this summer even though there was no AC.
• Even back in the US, ethnic food is a must. I had Korean food A LOT!
• Harry Potter 7 part 2. I need not expound further.
• My "niece" Lucy no longer is scared of African-Americans thanks to me. :) (I'm not sure I can really take credit for this, but I'm so happy that I got to build a relationship with her.) I also got to celebrate her 1st bday!
• Greta, my other "niece" is beautiful. Don't get too big too fast while I'm in China.

Now that I've returned to my other home in Beijing, China. I wanted to write a bit about the How's China? question by highlighting what I've experienced in the last few days being back.

• After being dropped off at MSP, sitting on the tarmac at MSP for an hour and a half, flying to Seattle, eating during a layover in Seattle, flying to Beijing, getting picked up by my driver Lao Liu; I arrived at my wonderful apt. in Beijing 21 hours later.
• I had flowers and a "Welcome Home" sign waiting for me. I love the Ros.
• I still am able to swerve in and out of traffic on my bike. Muscle memory is awesome.
• Jenny Lou's, a grocery store with imported items, is a lifeline.
• Peter's Tex Mex is NOT closing, only moving to a better location. Now I can breathe a sigh of relief.
• After two weeks of wondering whether or not IAB was going to open, we're moving ahead. The first day of school is now delayed until August 15th. Even though we have control over the school building, pray that the owner/founder allows us to have a smooth school year.
• Flexibility is a MUST living in China. I made plans to eat at a pizza place with friends called the Kro's Nest. We got there and they weren't open to the public so off to Fat Burger. Not a bad constellation at all but expectations are expectations.
• I heard my first phlegm hawking sound.
• The bus is cheap and very slow due to the massive amounts of people on the road, sidewalk, bicycle lane... I think you get the point.
• Bank of China is still horrible. Always make sure you bring a book.
• I mailed a letter for the first time. Thankfully, the China Post that I went to is used to dealing with foreigners. I paid a little over $1 USD to mail it and it will take 10 days to arrive.
• Jet lag is awful. For example, I woke up at 3:30 am and having nothing better to do, I decided to write this entry. I initially typed this on August 5th but did not post until today.
• Cereal is great for jet lag snack but way too expensive unless you stick with Chinese brands. BTW, Jenny Lou's was having a sale on Honey Bunches of Oats...YAY!
• I love delivery. Here in China you can get almost anything delivered. Last night, I had supper with friends and we had watermelon, peaches, and grapes delivered to the apt.
• Changes are constantly happening in China: a concrete building gets built, another torn down, things open and close. But one thing stays the same, China will always be China--UNPREDICTABLE!

For those of you who need a deeper connection and this blog post didn't quite do the trick, ask me questions and I'll be sure to answer. And for those of you who are visible, check out my album on Facebook titled, "Summer Stateside".