Home

I wrestled back and forth.  Should I stay in Beijing or go back to the U.S.  Some days in the midst of this decision, I found myself struggle.  You see home is not the place.  It's heart. It's love.  I have friends and family back in the U.S. that I love and so that's home.  But somewhere in the two years of putting roots down in Beijing, I fell in love with people here too.  So the past two years this has been home.  How do you decide which home is better?  Or I guess not even better but just the right home for the time to come.  Hence my struggle.

Well, the decision has been made.  June 18th I am flying back home....for good.  Well, I guess I shouldn't say "for good" as I've learned nothing is permanent.  So for the time being, I'm moving back.  My mom's health isn't good so I need to be closer to her.  I need to support her and my brother.  So I think the plan will be a) I move back to WI and pray for a job close to my mom's home or b) find a job and help my mom and brother relocate to where I'll be.  I don't know what doors will open but the anticipation of what God will do is VERY exciting.  I wait...  Sometimes not patiently but I wait nonetheless.

I can't describe to you the thoughts that I'm having.  I'm very excited to go back and at the same time, sad about leaving.  I've grown here.  You've grown there.  I've changed and so have you.  Or to use a different analogy, the puzzle is no longer the same.  There's a piece missing.  I'm that piece, but I have no idea what shape I'll need to be in order to fit.  :) So finding my way around this  different home will be difficult and good all at the same time.  Please be patient with me as I re-acclimate to this new puzzle. Ruth said to her mother in law, where you go, I'll go.  Where you stay, I will stay.  Your people will be my people and your God, my God. Ruth was faithful to Naomi, and through this journey, my prayer is that I continue to put my faith, hope, and trust in God.  Where I go, God is there.  No fear can uproot this truth.  No lie can reverse the truth of who I am in Christ.  So, I'm coming home bringing with me all the love, truth, faith, hope, knowledge, perseverance, and material stuff that I have accumulated for the past two years.  Hmmm...  1 piece of luggage under 50 pounds won't be enough to contain it all.

Singing in the Rain

The scene opens with my walking with Sylvia and Scott Antonides (the A team as I lovingly refer to them).  Talking about life and enjoying a nice spring rain walk in Beijing; they with their umbrellas, and I with my homemade rain poncho made from a black garbage bag.  The music swells and then comes to a......SCREECHING HALT!

Ok.  Let me back up a few scenes so you can fully enjoy what occurred to me last night.  First of all, the weather forecast here in Beijing is really unpredictable.  I'm not talking about the usual weather forecast "miss" that we have back in the US but more like utter fails.  The forecast will say rain when it never does.  Or it'll say sunny and blue skies when the pollution that day literally covers both.  So, yesterday the forecast said rain and as usual, I laughed in its face, wore cute summer flats, and went to school on my electric bike without bringing my poncho.

After a busy day at school, I noticed, yes friends, RAIN!  I had no time to spare as I had to head to an English tutoring job so I quickly made a poncho out of a garbage bag.  I made it safely to my tutoring job  which is no small feat.  For some reason when it rains, Beijing people love to drive cuhrazy!  (This is one of the moments in life when one syllable words are necessary for emPHAsis.)

After tutoring class, I decided to still meet my friends Sylvia, Scott, and Matt at a local Malaysian restaurant for dinner.  I struggled because I didn't have proper shoes on for rain, and I hate riding my bike in it.  So I decided to just park my bike at the A team's apt. since we were going there after dinner for a movie.  I hailed down a taxi and then walked through puddles in my flats (not so cute after the rain) and made my way to the restaurant.

After dinner, we made our way back in the rain.  I had my dress pants hiked around my knees so that they wouldn't get too wet and sported my garbage bag poncho.  We bussed it to the A team's place and were strolling back to their place.  We were walking in the bike lane because in Beijing, sometimes that's the easiest place to walk.  We were slowly making our way to the sidewalk when I heard Scott's voice boom in my left ear, "LOOK OUT!!!!!"

Wham!  My right side of my body was hit with an electric bike.  My right shoe flew into the air while my left shoe completely ripped from underneath me.  I honestly have no idea how I stayed on my feet.  After the fear subsided that I had broken any bones, I began to observe this Chinese man.  I then said aloud, "Is he drunk?"  Sure enough... he was.

Scott attempted to help this guy fix his bike but it was wrecked.  (Cue music.  "She's a brick....house"....)  Suddenly, Sylvia says, "Let's go!".

There was commotion that happened behind me.  All of a sudden this Chinese man wanted something from us.  Sylvia just kept telling me to hurry but my left shoe was utterly not a shoe anymore.  It was in shreds.  I lost it "running" away.  It had to be left (no pun intended) behind.  This guy was chasing us and Scott attempted to stop him while we got away.

I had an umbrella in my hand by that point and twice couldn't get through gate doors because of it.  At one point I was stuck in the door, without one shoe, shouting at Sylvia, "Help, how do you shut this umbrella!"  I was so nervous the Chinese man would catch up to us.  He never did.

Needless to say, I SCRUBBED my feet when I got to the A's.  Beijing pavement is disgusting!  And watched a little bit of The Way.  I fell asleep because I crashed from the adrenaline rush that I had just experienced.

After I left the A's apt. (Sylvia was kind to lend me her rain boots), I decided to check out the scene of the crime.  My left shoe was gone (this is dangerously starting to sound like Cinderella) and the drunk man's bike was still parked in the bike lane.

When it rains it pours you a glass of milk that you just can't cry over.

UPDATE:  This morning I checked the weather reports, and it's supposed to rain.  Do you think I learned my lesson?  You can comment about it on my facebook page.  :)

CAUTION

So when I moved to China there were many things that I was expecting. I was expecting that I would not understand one word of Chinese. I knew that I wouldn't be driving. And I certainly knew that I wouldn't be able to read one lick of Chinese. I knew the shopping would be great! I'm quite satisfied by the low prices of almost everything. And even though I complain, I love to get my bartering on. I expected to enjoy the food (which I do), expected to love my job (which I do), and expected to find a community that loves Jesus deeply. Many of my expectations have been met. But life wouldn't be life (especially in China) if you didn't have some curve balls thrown atcha once in awhile. Or at least in China, once a day.

I didn't expect to see split pants on children. Yes, they're pants that have a slit so when a child squats, they can just go to the bathroom. I haven't seen so many adults go to the bathroom in public as I have here. And let's not talk about the amount of puke on the streets. For some reason, I had no clue how bad the pollution was here. I didn't realize that Wal-mart is NOT like Wal-mart in the U.S. And I was shocked by the amount of chair loungers and nappers at IKEA (they actually get under the covers on the beds to sleep). No one warned me about the amount of phlegm I see on a daily basis and the sounds of phlegm removal I hear. Traffic....let's not even get started.

After a year and a half, you might be curious as to why I'm ranting about these things now? Well, on my drive to school (I own an electric scooter), I was about to pass a Chinese man on his pedal bike: he was just too slow. When at the last moment, I saw him turn his head over his left shoulder and blew a snot rocket! Thankfully, I had hesitated passing him. Then, I sped up to pass him again and once again, he blew another snot rocket. This time, I narrowly missed it.

Dear sir,

If you do not want me to pass you, I would rather have you cut me off with your bike than your snot.

Sincerely,

me

Thank you God that you care about me enough to help me avoid getting snotted on.

Cheers to Encouragement

Today was supposed to be the first day of school after Christmas break. However, teachers and administration are taking a stand. If you read my previous post, Dr. Lee (let's just call him "he who must not be named") got his hand stuck in the cookie jar by embezzling money from IAB accounts to his personal accounts. Because he got caught, I have been paid 1 month salary. His plan is to keep us hostage by not paying what is owed until the end of the school year.

We find his unethical behavior (since this past July) unfit to be the legal person for a school so we feel now is the time to take a stand. Unified, we have decided not to return to school until he steps down. There were some parents that wanted to take matters in their own hands and sent us an email that they would send their children anyway (even after being notified that we would not have school). Of course, that put me in a place of major guilt. Not only am I being "blackmailed" by Dr. Lee, but now I felt like I was being taken hostage by the parents. Needless to say, I did NOT go to school today.

You'd think that I would feel super discouraged this morning but I don't. Why?

First off, Matthew 12:18-20 talks about how Jesus has come as THE chosen servant prophesied by Isaiah. He wasn't popular though, far from it. Jesus was able to handle the negativity by never losing sight of who He is. I must not lose sight that I am His child regardless of my situation. He is my hope and my trust. His justice will prevail.

Second, I love music! Who doesn't? Music has the ability to speak to the heart like no other. I love the song "His Eye is on the Sparrow? Of course, the first verse and chorus is what comes to my mind, but the second and third are easily forgotten. This song really encouraged me. Take special notice of the latter verses. :)

Verse 1: Why should I feel discouraged, Why should the shadows come, Why should my heart feel lonely And long for Heav'n and home, When Jesus is my portion? A constant Friend is He: His eye is on the sparrow, And I know He watches over me; His eye is on the sparrow, And I know He watches me. Chorus: I sing because I'm happy, I sing because I'm free, His eye is on the sparrow, And I know He watches me His eye is on the sparrow And I know he watches me. Verse 2: "Let not your heart be troubled," His tender word I hear, And resting on His goodness, I lose my doubts and fears; Though by the path He leadeth But one step I may see: His eye is on the sparrow, And I know He watches me; His eye is on the sparrow, And I know He watches me. Verse 3: Whenever I am tempted, Whenever clouds arise, When songs give place to sighing, When hope within me dies, I draw the closer to Him, From care He sets me free: His eye is on the sparrow, And I know He cares for me; His eye is on the sparrow, And I know He cares for me. and LAST BUT NOT LEAST! (drumroll please) On their trip to Thailand, my co-worker and principal brought me back a frosting and chocolate covered mini-cinnamon roll from Cinnabon! If you've ever lived in a country where the comfort food from home isn't available (i.e. Cinnabon and Chipotle), then you know how big a deal this is! So with all three things my checklist is finished: encouraged *check* smile *check* joy *check* peace *check* hope *check* I hope I've encouraged you also!